A Bit of a Rant

I've been thinking about Peter lately. From the Bible. Here's the deal. Jesus was Peter's best friend, and when Jesus was sent to die a very brutal death, Peter pretended like his didn't even know him. He was afraid that if he admitted he knew this crazy, revolutionary man that he too would suffer what he saw his best friend suffering. He was afraid of what friendship with Jesus would cost him.

I love Peter. I love him because he reminds me so much of myself. When water was being turned to wine, people were healed of crippling diseases, the unloved were being loved, the thoughts of society were being challenged, Peter had no problems admitting he was a friend of Jesus. I can just see him nudging one of the onlookers, "Yeah, you see that guy? I eat dinner with him every night. We go way back." But when things got messy he high tailed out of there like a felon running from the law. I can also see Peter standing by a fire trying to warm himself watching Jesus passing through, this man whom he had been so intimately acquainted with, dripping blood instead of sweat and turning his eyes away from him. I can see him shake his head in disgust as people asked him if he knew that man. "Are you kidding me? He's crazy. I would never associate with such a person." The very things he loved most about Jesus had made him shutter in disgust. He was ashamed.

I've been in this place. Things used to be good. When they were good, Jesus and I were tight. I knew what was UP. But, when things got a little heavy, a little messy, I forgot about who Jesus really is.

UGH! I LOVE THIS PART!!!! When Jesus died, he came back to his disciples and do you know who was top on his priority list? PETER! Peter had gone back to what he had once known. Fishing. He was a fisher after all, before he got caught up in all this Jesus stuff. Let's go back to what feels good, what is comfortable. And Jesus MET HIM IN THAT PLACE. In fact he helped him catch a few fish. I love that. He didn't say "Peter what the heck man? Fishing? Really? After all we've been through, you decide to go back to fishing?" I just so love that. Maybe it's because I am where I'm at right now, feeling so separated from the friendship of Jesus but this resonates so much in my soul. Down to my tippy toes. He asked peter this question. He asked, "Peter do you love me?" And I don't think it's because Jesus was insecure in who he was and needed Peter to love him. I think it was to REMIND Peter of that love he had experienced. To REMIND Peter of the late night conversations, the times they spent together changing the face of the planet. He asked Peter this to REMIND Peter of who he was.

This story, it just amazes me. The faithfulness and the complete LOYALTY Jesus has toward his people. Not just the perfect ones. Not just the ones that are with Jesus every day, but the ones that are broken. And let me tell you people, I am broken. I have never felt so ashamed or alone as I have in the past year. But how powerful is that Jesus wants to be my friend despite all of that? Pretty good stuff my friends. REALLY good stuff.